BMJ Blog Archive Ice cold in Alice with Anna Donal

BMJ Blog Archive Ice cold in Alice with Anna Donald
I have just returned from a 40-year with my father, who adopted me, sort of, at two. A long time ago. When Morris Minors still bootled about with wooden interiors; Chuppa Chups had not yet been invented; and the moon was still unmarked by human boots. Martin Luther King,[url=http://duveticaitaly.albirank.net/][b]Duvetica Shop[/b][/url], however,[url=http://duveticaoutletcanada.halod.com/][b]http://duveticaoutletcanada.halod.com/[/b][/url], was dead.
We flew to Alice Springs, in the middle of Australia (more or less) and stayed with my cousins for a couple of nights, before traveling bush to camp beneath the stars on big canvas swags: huge canvas bags into which you stuff a foam mattress and bedding. They roll into enormous rolls which no swaggie of yesteryear could possibly have lugged from town to town. (Their swags were much meaner, usually consisting of a rolled up blanket or piece of canvas.) Thank heavens for utility vehicles ie open-backed trucks ('utes' in Aus- speak) which comfortably transports your tucker (food) box, swags, and,[url=http://billigamonclerjackadamsverigeonline.albirank.net/][b]http://billigamonclerjackadamsverigeonline.albirank.net/[/b][/url], in my case,[url=http://duveticaitaly.albirank.net/][b]DUVETICA Piumini Italy Vendita[/b][/url], an enormous suitcase that looked decidedly un-bush-like, belonging more to a European hotel.
The suitcase was enormous partly because I brought every bit of thermal gear I have, as the desert is notorious for reaching 40+ degree C during the day and plummeting to freezing point at night. I still haven't figured out why the ground doesn't hold the heat better after the sun goes down. As it turned out, Dad had brought all HIS enormous thermals for me, and in any case most nights were mild.
The other reason is that I was lugging every bit of possible photography and camera equipment, as I've just found out that a friend of mine (who is, thank heavens, an experienced film maker) has won a grant to make a documentary about my living with advanced cancer. So I wanted to get footage of what it's like camping with bags of medicine, bandages, and creams (for inflamed hands and feet), and, of course, books,[url=http://merrellshoesonsaleformen.blogspot.com/][b]merrell shoes on sale for men[/b][/url], the most therapeutic element.
Only problem is that I've never before handled a camera. So the first few tapes were full of camera shake and pictures of the inside of my backpack (when I left the camera on for the 10th time). I (or, I think, Dad,[url=http://duveticaitaly.albirank.net/][b]Duvetica Piumini italy[/b][/url], but he wouldn't fess up) erased some footage, and my voice sounded like a cracked crow's. Despite all that I think I managed to get a bit of OK footage, but I have a long way to go before I reach my friend's proficiency.
The complicating factor, of course, was cancer, grrrrrrrr. I coughed every time I turned over; crawled from my little fly tent (extremely effective at protecting you from the swarms of flies and wild bees that we encountered everywhere we went) or moved in any other way, no matter how lightly. I was then assailed with a weird kind of arthralgia that left me almost crippled for a couple of days. Poor Dad had to transfer me from truck to mattress to chair and back again. Happily, in true Aussie fashion, at 63 he is a tall, muscle-bound man after 10 months of renovations to the house and lugging stones from various quarries to build walls and pavements in the back yard. As a student in the 60s, to earn money he helped build the Australian National University and is still proud of his mason's skills. (He was not, however,[url=http://cheapnikesoccercleatsmercurial.webmium.com/][b]nike soccer cleats mercurial Discount Soccer Cleats[/b][/url], impressed with a flock of birds with mulberry diarrhoea who alighted and relieved themselves right along the total length of his newly laid limestone paving before it was sealed.)
So, in short, lugging me about was no big deal. For him. But for me it was the ultimate in invalid status. In a large Desert Park we quickly realised that a wheelchair BUGGY was going to enable us to see the park before it closed. Otherwise we'd pretty much have to stick around the entrance, as my hips and legs had completely frozen up. It was both fun (those things are great and mildly hazardous in the wrong hands,[url=http://monclerjassenherenoutletnederland.olimx.com/][b]Moncler Jassen Heren Outlet Nederland Moncler Jas Kopen Online[/b][/url], though super slow on hills). And,[url=http://cheapnikesoccercleatsmercurial.webmium.com/][b]http://cheapnikesoccercleatsmercurial.webmium.com/[/b][/url], of course, totally humiliating. Visitors to the park kept not-very-discreetly peering at me over their sun glasses. In true Miss Marples style I did my best to ignore them and speed past in my rather elegant scarf and hat that my aunt gave me (actually her children did; she doesn't yet know that the hat has been recycled to me). This tactic was fine until I nearly bowled over an elderly Japanese man and missed the main pole holding up an aviary by 0.001 cm. Fortunately no damage except to my already dented ego.
We returned to Sydney to the joys of more chemo. Today was D-day. I finally got a port-catheter inserted under my clavicle, marking me as a chemo veteran. And I started again on docetaxol, an infused form of chemotherapy. My lungs have just gone awol, with nodes and fluid everywhere (am not surprised given cough). Liver is better, but not perfect and, once again, the cancer markers are going in the wrong direction.
What is this? Why are so many parts of my anatomy perfectly capable of recognising the cancer (kidneys, pancreas,[url=http://duveticaouterwear.blogspot.com/][b]duvetica outerwear[b][/url], spleen, etc),[url=http://duveticaouterwear.blogspot.com/][b]http://duveticaouterwear.blogspot.com/[b][/url], while others haven't got a clue? I thought my body was one big holistic, integrated organism. Yet this represents failure of sharing of information, in my view. Liver, head, chest, skin (I have one subcutaneous lump on my right shoulder), bones,[url=http://newkevindurantshoes2012.blogspot.com/][b]http://newkevindurantshoes2012.blogspot.com/[/b][/url], get with the programme! What is this?
This is the first time I've really welcomed the chemo as something I need and want. I need time to heal. And to date,[url=http://billigamonclerjackadamsverigeonline.albirank.net/][b]Billiga Moncler Jacka Dam Sverige Online Moncler Jackor Herr Outlet[/b][/url], chemo has given me that time. I'm very grateful to everyone involved, including the yew tree, from whose berries at least some of taxols' potency derive.
Time to sleep. Hope the GsF kicks in and I don't wake up with a lizard's tongue.
Dear Anna, I sorry to hear you need IV chemo again. Because of chemo I am alive today but I sure wouldn have wanted my chemo trip recorded by anyone. It was rough and I was exhausted by it. I didn feel photogenic! One of the things I learned chemo is that drinking plenty of liquid during and after the treatment protects the kidneys by flushing the chemicals through. Drink (or get a drip) even if you feel sick from the drugs as you will want your kidneys to function properly when you are well again. Metta, Vivian
I so sorry to see you need yet more chemo, but I know what you mean about feeling it something you want and need. I also have terminal breast cancer, but mine is Her-2 positive, and diagnosed in 2004, so I beating the odds so far. I do hope your experience with docitaxel is as good as mine was I was given it in combination with herceptin and started to feel better very quickly. But I have not had secondaries in my lungs, so I don know what to expect there. Mine were (are)all in my liver,[url=http://woolrichelitewaterproof.blogspot.com/][b]http://woolrichelitewaterproof.blogspot.com/[/b][/url], and now in the lymph nodes in my abdomen. I been back on chemo for 15 months 5 different regimes. The current one is good for me but very bad for our bank balance.
I have really enjoyed your blogs, especially your musings on the best way to behave. I have also had the experience of very short conversations with people who are not used to thinking about such issues, let alone dealing with them in social situations. (Mind you, it happened even more when I was a science student, and later a scientist: do you do? physiology end of conversation). We seem to have a very limited range of comfortable conversation topics, and can easily be derailed by something that touches on areas we don habitually venture into,[url=http://duveticaitaly.albirank.net/][b]Duvetica italy[/b][/url], like the sacred, or science. Writing this I find myself wondering whether some of the awkwardness around science stems from a feeling that it touches in some way on the sacred there a thought Richard Dawkins wouldn like.
Enough maundering. I do hope the docitaxel treats you well, in every sense.
We have never met, and like many people who read your words I am sorry we have not as you seem very special indeed. I have just met your brother though in London recently and kept wondering if you are like him in any way.
Your gift in writing comes with a total lack of pomposity. That is quite hard to achieve and is very liberating for the reader. I do not know if you have always been like that or if this has come with your cancer.
My father lived with cancer for seven years, during the last two his body pretty well fell apart, yet there were still especially clear and special days that we spent together. They had a particular light that was born from knowing time was short.
But then I wonder why we should ever take it for granted that we have all the time in the world and so can afford to disregard even a single day. I was going to say waste a single day but realize I meant the opposite. I should waste a lot more of my days doing pointless and wonderful things with those I love.
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