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Why I am no longer a sugar daddy
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ertry03sn08




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Post Why I am no longer a sugar daddy
Why I am no longer a sugar daddy
Let's Rethink the Holiday Party Remix Baker vs. Tree: A Yuletide Story Sexiest Man Alive: Marty Baker BakerMuse is back: Male Pattern Blindness Cavemen, chloroform and chocolates. Rethinking romance. Follicle Follies or Splitting Hairs. (Remix) A BakerMuse True Story Musical Hell. Loitering at the bottom of the musical food chain. Remix. A starter kit. The Pillsbury Dough Boy and Charlie the Tuna Intervention: A remix A needless survey of curmudgeons Restaurants to Avoid. A BakerMuse Remix Worst Album Covers Ever. A Remix. Finding the right guy. A guide for women remix. Further Misadventures in flight. A remix. Aging Disgracefully Remix Procrasticise! Remix An Afficianado's Guide to the Flu Remix The BakerMuse Guide to Writing a Best Seller Why I am no longer a sugar daddy. Great hotels. Bad postcards. The Four Yorkshiremen Reprise Neighbors and other disappointments Das Snoot Turf Wars. A BakerMuse True Story. Testosterone. The early years. The Frigid Chronicles Part One Unsanitized for your protection. BakerMuse Anniversary Part 2 BakerMuse Celebrates 50th Anniversary Welcome to Stinky Town The Foxworthy Factor. The Jerky Boy BakerMuse Live from New York City: Viva la Revolution! BakerMuse Live From New York City The Upside of Downsizing Quibbles Part 4: The grunt, the yell and the floating gorilla A sociological study of the elderly or Geezer 101 Me and the Mighty Gavalon The Free LifeTime Movie Generator Why Lou Dobbs Loves Me I need a man purse and other confessions What I Learned On My Vacation And Other Terrors Part 2 What I Learned On My Vacation And Other Terrors Part I My Christmas List Revised Splitting Hairs Ugly is the New Beautiful Worst Album Covers Ever Part 2 Worst Album Covers Ever Part 1 Let's Rethink the Holiday Party Intervention: Charlie the Tuna, the TRIX rabbit and the Pillsbury Doughboy The Man Code. Decoded. Quibbles Part 3 Starring Orville Redenbacher Never let an egghead write your tag line. An expose. Cluttergate Fashion Mistakes. The Sequel. Songs from Musical Hell Please don't stare at my stag and other fashion mistakes A Jones for Java Part 2 Tong Envy and Aspects of Aspic Bourne Again,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the Movie Quibbles: Part 2 Clinical observations from the bottom of the musical instrument food chain Expose! My Coke Habit. Condemned Cuisine Nyuk. Nyuk. Why Men Love the Three Stooges: A Guide for Women Quibbles: Part One Procrasticise! Restaurants To Avoid A BakerMuse Culinary Guide An Afficianado's Guide to the Flu Let's Bring Back the Fez The Angina Monologues Pardon Me While I Slip Into Something Less Comfortable. Finding the right guy. A guide for women. Aging Disgracefully SpongeBob: Now Smellable Bed Bath and Way Beyond Do it yourself surgery My Kryptonite, the hot dog. Duck and Cover with Bert the Turtle A Jones for Java. My secret history with coffee commercials 1 Counting My Blessings and Other Mathematical Problems
Recently, my doctor told me that I have the glucose level of overripe sugar beet. Apparently, if I put one toe over the Vermont State line,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I can legally be tapped and processed by the Log Cabin folks.
There is some irony in this diagnosis given that my ancestors grew sugar cane in Barbados. And from the looks of those ancient photos filled with rotund bodies, they consumed mass quantities of it as well.
I knew something was wrong when black bears started tossing away their honeycombs and began stalking me. Wild pack animals were looking at me like I was a walking Snickers Bar. And for swarms of mosquitoes, I was target practice and the body de jour.
Now I scanning the food aisles looking for anything that says friendly. This was my first mistake. I actually ate some sugarfree fudge and was immediately spot welded to the toilet for six hours,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Most of the approved foods (I am using that term loosely) taste like a mix between an old chalkboard eraser and styrofoam packing peanuts.
My food pyramid has been upended. Carbohydrates (we call them carbs in the biz) are monitored like Bernie Madoff walking the yard. There are good carbs and bad carbs. I happen to like the badboy carbs. Things like strudel, stuffing, pizza and pasta, candy corn, and anything Nabisco can stuff into a Newton the very items that will put me into a coma.
No more Captain Crunch. No more Dominos. No more Oktoberfest binges with busty beer maids. No more knocking the heck out of the Pillsbury Dough Boy while opening the buttermilk Grands. It basically a diet of protein and fat. In other words, I am eating like a Neaderthal or John Madden. King, I am stabbing my finger with lancets to get a reading. It like performing a mini Hari kari on your digits. Suddenly, I feel a kinship with Wilfred Brimley. I have grown an enormous mustache and have affected a surly, blunt demeanor. If he's been off sugar and
carbs this long, no wonder he's surly.
I don intend to walk lockstep into taste oblivion I already have found something called indigestible carbs. It a loofah. Not so surprisingly, there's a secret brethren trying to turn cotton candy and pie crust into healthy proteins. Wish us luck. We're like Masons with candy bars.
It no longer sweet home. It lowglycemic home.
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Sat 18:28, 29 Jun 2013 View user's profile
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